10. Noticing it when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
11. Noticing it when someone invades your boundaries, saying no to food, gifts, touch, sex that you do not want.
12. You ask permission before touching others.
13. Respect for others, never taking advantage of other's generosity.
14. Self-respect, not giving too much in hope that someone will like you.
15. Not allowing anyone to take advantage of you, or your generosity.
16. Trusting your own decisions over the influence of others.
17. Defining your truth, as you view it.
18. Knowing who you are and what you want.
19. Recognizing that others are not mind-readers.
20. Clearly communicating your wants and needs, and realizing that you may be turned down, but knowing that
you do have the right to ask and your views be heard.
21. Have learned to respect yourself and how to protect yourself from the poor boundaries of others.
Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries;
1. Trusting no one - trusting anyone – all or nothing - black and white thinking.
2. Telling all.
3. Talking at intimate level on first meeting.
4. Falling in love with new acquaintances.
5. Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
6. Being overwhelmed by a person — preoccupied.
7. Acting on first sexual impulse.
8. Being sexual for partner, not self.
9. Going against personal values or rights to please others.
10. Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
11. Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.
12. Accepting food, gifts, touch, sex that you don't want.
13. Touching others without asking permission.
14. Taking as much as you can get for sake of getting.
15. Giving as much as you can give for sake of giving.
16. Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
17. Letting others direct your life.
18. Letting others describe your reality for you.
19. Letting others define you.
20. Believing that others can anticipate your needs.
21. Expecting others to fill your needs automatically.
22. Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
All of us require boundaries in order to feel secure. However, most of us will fight, bite and kick saying that we
can manage our own lives, and that we are well enough to self-monitor our own behavior. This however, is our
biggest mistake, as we lie to ourselves! We must learn how to communicate with others.
Therefore, we must allow our spiritual guide to teach us discernment in all we do.
While working in the field of recovery it was normal for a newcomer to make the claim, "I knew deep inside that I
had let my life get out of control, but I was just waiting for someone to love me enough to just say, No!" Does our
Creator sometimes wear a cops uniform?
Many of us were not taught healthy boundaries in our family environments, and our classrooms were often so
chaotic or such a hodgepodge of different types of personalities that it made it difficult, if not impossible, to allow
for a clear sense of where the lines have been drawn.
Many of us are so powerfully hurt inside we become like vipers waiting to launch to inflict our pain on others.
Unfortunately, boundaries have become a necessary evil in the societies of today, as many have learned to cut
us without remorse for our feelings. There is good waiting for us out there, however, it has been left up us
to wade through all of the dogmatic clutter to decide what is ethical for ourselves.
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