Co-dependency is Compassion without Wisdom
The Wave Series Transcripts and Co-Dependency;
"Q: (L) Is the action she (Mother) is taking, which is to try to get him (adult child) into a hospital drug treatment facility; can you
make any comments on this?
A: Futile.
Q: (L) Is there anything that she could do that would be helpful at this point?
A: Son follows in "shoes" of parents.
Q: (L) Any other advice for her at this time?
A: Best to let kid salt his oats and take his lumps.
Q: (L) Okay, so P. (Adult child) has to learn on this, and the best way you can help him is by backing off. (A) From P., too?
A: When one protests, one facilitates the building of barriers that are an integral part of the attack. For one to have revelation,
one must "step back," and view the picture without prejudice!"
Terms such as; "Service to Others and Service to Self are inextricably mixed up with the idea of love. On an individual
basis, we may say that we Love this or that person, and want to Serve them, but then the question arises: WHICH PART OF
THEM are we serving? The higher part that seeks spiritual progression, or the Lower part that seeks self-survival? When we
help someone who keeps making the same mistakes over and over again, we are clearly interfering in their lessons. What,
then, are we serving us or them?
Most likely ourselves because we are then able to "feel good" that we are so "long suffering" and "patient" and "self-sacrificing,"
because we can certainly see, from the evidence of our eyes, that the other person isn’t making any progress by virtue of our
efforts. And, it may be a far more difficult thing to deny assistance, particularly when it is someone we love, because it "hurts us
to see them hurt." Yet, that may be the very thing needed in order for them to grow - to be left to their own suffering until they
have had enough so that they will begin to see their own way out of the difficulty, thereby building soul strength and accessing
their own powers and inner potentials." - Laura Knight, scribe of The Wave Series Transcripts
The Law of One and Co-dependency;
"Questioner: Many entities (people) here feel great compassion for relieving the physical problems of third-density other-selves
by administering to them in many ways, with food if there is hunger as there is now in the African nations, by bringing them
medicine if they feel that there is a need to minister to them medically, and being selfless in all of these services to a very great
extent.
This is creating a vibration that is in harmony with green-ray or fourth-density but it is not balanced with the understanding of
fifth-density that these entities are experiencing catalysts and a more balanced administration to their needs would be to
provide them with the learning necessary to reach the state of awareness of fourth-density than it would be to minister to their
physical needs at this time. Is this correct?
Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. To a mind/body/spirit complex (person) which is starving, the appropriate response is the feeding
of the body. You may extrapolate from this.
On the other hand, however, you are correct in your assumption that the green ray response is not as refined as that which has
been imbued with wisdom. This wisdom enables the entity to appreciate its contributions to the planetary consciousness by the
quality of its being without regard to activity or behavior which expects results upon visible planes.
Questioner: Then why do we have the extreme starvation problem in, generally, the area of Africa at this time? Is there any
metaphysical reason for this, or is it purely random?
Ra: I am Ra. Your previous assumption was correct as to the catalytic action of this starvation and ill health. However, it is within
the free will of an entity to respond to this plight of otherselves, and the offering of the needed foodstuffs and substances is an
appropriate response within the framework of your learn/teachings at this time which involve the growing sense of love for and
service to other-selves.
Questioner: What is the difference in terms of energy center activation between a person who represses emotional responses
to emotionally charged situations and the person who is balanced and, therefore, truly unswayed by emotionally charged
situations?
Ra: I am Ra. This query contains an incorrect assumption. To the truly balanced entity no situation would be emotionally
charged. With this understood, we may say the following: The repression of emotions depolarizes the entity in so far as it then
chooses not to use the catalytic action of the space/time present in a spontaneous manner, thus dimming the energy centers.
There is, however, some polarization towards positive if the cause of this repression is consideration for other-selves. The entity
which has worked long enough with the catalyst to be able to feel the catalyst but not find it necessary to express reactions is
not yet balanced but suffers no depolarization due to the transparency of its experiential continuum. Thus the gradual increase
in the ability to observe one’s reaction and to know the self will bring the self ever closer to a true balance. Patience is
requested and suggested, for the catalyst is intense upon your plane and its use must be appreciated over a period of
consistent learn/teaching.
Questioner: How can a person know when he is unswayed by an emotionally charged situation or if he is repressing the flow of
emotions, or if he is in balance and truly unswayed?
Ra: I am Ra. We have spoken to this point. Therefore, we shall briefly iterate that to the balanced entity no situation has an
emotional charge but is simply a situation like any other in which the entity may or may not observe an opportunity to be of
service. The closer an entity comes to this attitude the closer an entity is to balance.
You may note that it is not our recommendation that reactions to catalyst be repressed or suppressed unless such reactions
would be a stumbling block not consonant with the Law of One to an other-self. It is far, far better to allow the experience to
express itself in order that the entity may then make fuller use of this catalyst."
An example of making a judgement. The Wave Series Transcripts claims that in its past the black race were ferocious slave
masters. In order to "work off" the karmic tail they created for their-self within this past experience the black race was given an
extra gland once the choice to incarnate upon planet earth was made. This gland secretes a chemical that causes this group to
become less aware of cause and effect than average. Therefore, by this example, we all must realize that most of "us" are here
in order to "do work on our-self", to clear our karmic record in order to progress.
The desire to feed those starving is seen to the self as service to other-selves, when in reality it is the self desiring to serve its-
self because the self is unwilling to accept the pain and suffering the other-self must endure. Therefore, there is a fine line
between compassion and wisdom.
Feed the other-self who are hungry, shelter the other-self when its in need, but understand that you may be infringing upon the
free-will of the other-self, thus creating karmic entanglement for your-self. Therefore, "judge not" as you've not the correct
perspective to do so, but rather are emotion rather than logic.
Example of Co-dependency;
I have a childhood friend who was a master fabricator. This man could weld two pieces of any type of matter together and he
was fun to be around. However, he became a booze bozo and soon his co-dependent mother went to work enabling her "baby
boy" to continue with his new hobby. Before long she had helped him by removing his desire to do anything else with his life.
She often nagged him, however, her actions spoke much louder.
When he and his wife lost custody of their children, his wife divorced him and began a new life. However, sense he still retained
his chief enabler he was given no incentive to relinquish his life style. Convinced that it was all her daughter in-laws fault the
chief enabler paid off her son’s home, paid all of his monthly expenses, did his house cleaning and continued to strip him of any
and all responsibility for his-self.
After he lost his drivers license, the chief then began driving him everywhere he wished to go. She soon began giving him a
daily booze allowance in which each morning he began walking to the liquor store to dispense with. After he began drinking the
mix on his return trip back to his residence, he began to create havoc with his neighbors along the way. Now the chief began
driving him each morning to this desired location as well.
Before long his free-will had allowed him to begin engaging in abnormal sexual behaviors with his drinking buddies. Most of his
family members soon became ashamed to acknowledge him, as he was often in handcuffs for drunken disorder, causing further
divisions in his family.
When the chief was confronted as to why she continues to engage in this behavior, she claims that her son would die if not for
her aid. What this well meaning mother has yet to realize is that her co-dependency signed her son’s death warrant many years
ago. She did not put the bottle in his hand, however because of her own character defect she began tipping it to his lips when
he was a small child.
The sad part is that she needs him to stay sick and he needs her to help him to stay sick. Together they do need each other
sick. However, the even sadder part of all this; This elderly woman will one day leave this world and you, Mr & Mrs Tax Payer,
will become his new mommy.
Up date; He fell down and is now in a state funded convalescent hospital with little chance of recovery.
Patterns of Co-Dependency;
1. My good feelings about who I Am stem from being liked by you.
2. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
3. My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
4. My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
5. My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to do it my way.
6. My self confidence is bolstered by solving your problems.
7. My self confidence is bolstered by relieving your pain.
8. My own hobbies are put aside.
9. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
10. Your personal appearance and behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
11. I am not aware of how I feel, I am only aware of how you feel.
12. I am not aware of what I want, I want what you want. I am now not aware, therefore, I must assume.
13. My dreams of a future are linked to you.
14. My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
15. My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
16. I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
17. My social circle diminishes with my involvement with you.
18. I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
19. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
20. The quality of my life depends on yours.
“Sense your struggle affects my serenity, now our combined struggle affects my serenity, causing my mental focus to
resolve your problems, in order to relieve my own.”
Is this not insanity at its best! I watch this sickness being duplicated over and over as I watch the relationships between parents
and their children. We all have a strong propensity to set our children up for failure. After a toddler is potty trained it is now time
to start teaching them how to navigate this harsh world. If you continue to do the work for them, their chances of success are
slim.
I could write examples about the co-dependency that I have witnessed in the treatment centers where I worked, in the soup
kitchens, work training center and from watching the behavior between parents and their kids until I am blue in the face.
However, co-dependents are a dime a dozen and they all feel they are doing right by others, when in reality, they themselves
are the most destructive force ever known to mankind.
Most appear to be blinded, so seared by dependent love that most just can’t see around the corner to realize this very
destructive force. It begins the very first time we bail our kids out, preventing them from experiencing the full weight of their
behavior.
If people could only see how this service-to-self type love is causing their-self harm by getting karmicly entangled with the ones
they feel better about their-self by helping, they would stop. However, they are blind to such an understanding. In the next
classroom (4D), those that graduate will be required to learn how to balance their compassion with wisdom.
How to recover from Co-dependency
Firstly, you must becoming willing to admit you are the one with the problem. You must now muster up enough true love to face
the "I hate you" when you will not give the loved one money, nor bail them out of jail or allow them to sleep on your sofa
because they waisted their resources. Yes, they are going to think of every possible way to hold you hostage to their emotional
bondage.
If they end up in jail, DO NOT BAIL THEM OUT! They got their-self there, let them get their-self out!
Do not take it as a reflection of your parenting skills, because they will use you as their excuse if you allow them to. Sure, you
made your mistakes, no one is perfect! But if you do not have the strength to tell them enough is enough, then go down and
purchase both of you a burial plot, because that's where this will lead.
There is a fine line between compassion and corruption! Care and corrosion! Nurture and non-sense! Help and hindrance!
Therefore, if you are allowing your child’s poor behavior; I wish that you would find another way to entertain your-self. Give your
children a chance to live, teach them how, do not do it for them. He who cleans up his child’s mess, will always be cleaning up
his child’s mess! Love them enough to say, ‘No, you have two legs, two arms and a great wonder between your ears, now use
it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
Let the loved one lose everything they own. Contact every family member and each one of their friends to warn them to also cut
off all sources of revenue. Move, change your phone number, even your name if you must. Do whatever you must do to prevent
your sickness from hindering their progress.
If you allow one small hole in your strategy, the loved one will find it and squeeze through that hole. There is nothing you can do
for them but let them fall.
Do not believe what the loved one says, but rather what they do. Good intentions accomplish nothing, and going to church will
not prevent an addiction to anything.
I am NOT sorry for being so harsh regarding this subject matter, Life is a Harsh Reality. 99% of you will not get this. You will say
to yourself; "But my situation is different." I am not sorry to tell you this, but I have heard every excuse, and none of them were
valid excuses. Not even one!
I know where it will lead if you do not stop and take stock of your own life NOW! If you or a loved one requires further
information with this issue, there is help. But it is you who must becoming willing. If you need strength to do the right thing, email
me. Tell me you need help and I will "try" to help you.
Again; Before you look at the love one as the problem, first take a serious look at your-self! And please, don't anyone who has
read this ever email me again asking; "What can I do to help my child, my husband, my neighbor, my friend, my sister, my
brother, or even my pastor! With that very question, you have made your-self part of their problem.
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