The following is a list of common symptoms leading to Relapse or known in the 12 Step Programs as "
stink'n think'n " that is the source of relapse:
"1. Exhaustion: Allowing yourself to become overly tired or in poor health. Some addicts are also prone to work
addictions perhaps in a hurry to make up for lost time. Good health and enough rest are important. If you feel
well you are more apt to think well. Feel poorly and your thinking is apt to deteriorate. Feel bad enough and you
might begin thinking about your addiction to help make you feel better.
2. Dishonesty: This begins with a pattern of unnecessary little lies and deceits with fellow workers, friends, and
family. Then comes, the important lies to yourself! This is called rationalization or making up excuses for not
doing what you do not want to do, or for doing what you know you should not do.
3. Impatience: Things are not happening fast enough. Or, others are not doing what they should or what you
want them to do.
4. Argumentativeness: Arguing small and ridiculous points of view indicates a need to always to be right. "
Why don't you be reasonable and agree with me?" Looking for any excuse to re-engage the old behavior!
5. Depression: Unreasonable and unaccountable despair may occur in cycles and should be dealt with by
talking it out of the system.
6. Frustration: At people and also because things may not be going your way. Remember, everything is not
going to be just the way you want it to be.
7. Self-pity: "Why do these things happen to me?" Why must I be a slave to an addiction?" Poor me... Nobody
appreciates all I am doing - (for them?)
8. Cockiness: I've got it made, so I no longer have to fear addiction, I will never do that again. If one lies to
himself long enough he then becomes;
9. Complacency: "Engaging my addiction is the furthest thing from my mind." Therefore, I do not need to be
taught anymore because I know it all. Whereas, to always have a little fear is a good thing. More relapses occur
when things are going well than otherwise.
10. Expecting Too Much From Others: "I've changed so why hasn't everyone else?" It's a plus if they do, but
it is still your problem if they do not. They may not trust you yet as they may be waiting for further proof. You
cannot expect others to change their lifestyle just because you have changed yours.
11. Letting Up On Disciplines, Such As: Prayer, mediation, daily inventory, support attendance. This can
stem either from complacency or boredom. You cannot afford to be bored while working any recovery program.
The will cause relapse every time. Accountability is your only friend now.
12. Use of Mood Altering Chemicals: You may feel the need to ease things with a pill, and your doctor may
go along with you. You may never have had a problem with chemicals before, but unless you have a severe
case of depression, you can not afford to take a chance on chemical dependency now.
13. Wanting Too Much: Do not set goals you cannot reach with normal effort. Do not expect too much. It's
always great when good things you were not expecting happen. You will get what you are entitled to as long as
you do your best, but maybe not as soon as you think you should. "Happiness is not having what you want, but
rather wanting what you have."
14. Forgetting Gratitude: You may be looking pragmatically regarding your life, concentrating on problems
that still are not totally corrected. Nobody wants to be a Pollyanna, but it is good to remember where you started
from and how much better life is now.
15. "It Can't Happen To Me!": This is dangerous thinking! Almost anything can happen to you and is more
likely to if you get careless. Remember you have a progress heart condition, and you will be in much worse
shape if you relapse.
16. Omnipotence: This is a feeling that results from a combination of many of the above. You now have all the
answers for yourself and others. Therefore, no one can tell you anything. If you ignore suggestions or advice
from others, you invite relapse and is probably imminent unless a drastic change in your thinking is allowed to
take place." - reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hazeldon Foundation, Box 176, Center City, MN 55012. Taken from "A
LOOK AT RELAPSE" by Charles W. Crewe
Dishonesty appears to have become a way of life for most addicts. Most have learned to lie, even best to
themselves. They tend to lie about their feelings, about their addiction participation, about money, about where
they've been and what they've done. Lying has become a way of life for most addicts, partly because it's a way
of protecting them from others realizing how deep they are engaged in their adverse behaviors, and partly
because their minds are so addled and their emotions so muddled that many appear not to have full
discernment between truth and fiction.
Anger appears to be a key component of relapse. There is an old saying that if a man can not control his
anger, his anger will control him. During my days and nights spent in Twelve Step Meetings, I often witnessed
new members who seemed to be constantly searching for subjects to argue about. Later I realized that it had
nothing to do with the subject, but rather everything to do with their need to shoot holes, or look for flaws in the
recovery process that would allow them the reason they were looking for to make their escape. Therefore, if we
look hard enough, our adversary will give us just the excuse that fits.
However, it was complacency that was the least obvious to the addict, yet the most often used by my witness.
Anyone who believes they have learned all they need to know! Knows nothing! It was if they suddenly had all of
the correct answers, they had the magic wand, they had found the silver bullet. They had already heard and
spoke all of the right words. These were often those who suddenly disappeared, later to quietly slip back into
the rooms. We knew where they had been, but no words or harsh looks were ever needed to be exchanged.
Relapse tends to be a part of the recovery process, as 85% of addicts relapse in their first year of recovery.
After having had spent a few months or even just a few weeks free from addiction, the human psyche tends to
begin to form its resolve causing the addiction to take on a more fierce face, allowing the addict to become more
aware and sometimes becomes willing to demand that the addiction relinquish its control.
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